Scratch of the week: Life is a blanket. Sometimes you wrap yourself in it, sometimes you tear it with your claws.

      Rising star of feline astrology, Mistress of Purring Chaos, ruler of stellar scratches and professional foreteller of your failures, Buba the Magnificent has unveiled a new horoscope. Read for anyone who cherishes their fur and their nerves.

      Scratch of the Week

      "If someone tries to pet you against the grain this week — claw exactly once and with panache. Let them know you're a cat: soft, but with a surprise. Then make a stylish exit, as if it were part of the show."

      Aries

      Purr loudly, even if you hiss. This week is for making yourself known and not apologizing.

      Taurus

      Switch on "leopard on the couch" mode: dramatic, but without unnecessary movement.

      Gemini

      Don't jump into three boxes at once — choose one and see it through.

      Cancer

      Time to recover under a blanket. Claws — keep in reserve.

      Leo

      You are the center of the room, even if the room is empty. But applause for every "meow" is over the top.

      Virgo

      Chaos annoying you? Put things in order, but don't try to comb a hedgehog.

      Libra

      Balance between purring and hissing. Diplomacy is your best friend.

      Scorpio

      A drop of poison is better than a bottle. Leave some room for mystery.

      Sagittarius

      Check where you're jumping. Sometimes going around is smarter than falling.

      Capricorn

      A productive week. Don't listen to those who try to knock you off your leap.

      Aquarius

      Ideas will come suddenly. Write them down before the wind blows them away.

      Pisces

      A week of tenderness. Kindness isn't an obligation to carry other people's tails.

      Astro-weather August 12–18

      The week is like a cat's walk along a windowsill: graceful, but the wind sometimes tries to blow you off.

      The Moon is waning: time to finish things and clean out closets, your head, and your contacts.

      Sun in Leo: even quiet cats want to take the stage.

      Venus in Virgo: tidy up your feelings and the little things.

      Mercury in retrograde shadow: gadgets act up, people forget words, but cats understand with a half-meow.

      Tip of the week: more silence, less scrolling, a little sparkle. Let ideas ripen like a tomato in the sun.

      Retro-bite of the Week

      Mercury is quietly fraying nerves: delays, misunderstandings, strange messages.

      Survival recipe: three deep breaths, a cup of something warm and half an hour with those who don't irritate you (cats are ideal). Don't sign anything important in the heat of the moment and check the recipient before sending "that" message.

      P.S. This forecast from Buba is playful, but like any cat, it isn't without a grain of truth. We publish it solely to lift your spirits and add a bit of fluffy mischief to your week.

      And on the AstroBuba channel there's even more interesting stuff. For example, the Gastro-Scratch column advises what to eat so the week doesn't eat you first. And every morning channel subscribers receive a send-off so even the dreariest day becomes a little brighter — starting with a smile.