"Pedagogical bottom": Deputy Bikaluk was outraged that schoolchildren are being taught to love alcoholics and shoot jackals.

      "When 9-10-year-old children are forced to read stories about an old alcoholic (Patrick O'Brian, the series of stories about Captain Jack Aubrey (16+) — followed by a retelling of the plot for a grade, I understand that 'this is pedagogical bottom' with a specific task of corrupting and impoverishing children's souls and minds," shared the opinion of the deputy after his speech at the meeting of the social committee of the Legislative Assembly on May 20. "After all, it is conveyed to the child in great detail, and then they further absorb in class that a five-day binge is the norm. That a 'drunken soulful conversation' with a puppy Chink, who, alas, 'does not drink vodka,' but somehow survived without food and water during all the binge days of his owner, is not only the leveling of someone else's life but also the right family relationships. And the subsequent — without sobering up — killing of a jackal, guilty only of the fact that the dog fears the beast, is normative — in human terms — clarification of relationships... And I, an adult person and a father of many children, should be glad that it has already been prescribed to the schoolboy as a truth what should be done, for example, with the neighbor who does not like pets, possibly due to an allergy to fur," noted Bikaluk.

      As Albert Alexandrovich believes, if a primary school student is given "such a book," then a child from a non-drinking family will definitely not understand it, but the meaning of the words about "a five-day binge" will stick in their head. But if the parents of a first or third grader are among those who enjoy "pouring it down," then the book will become a dogma — unquestionable and unprohibited, because everyone — in the whole world — does it "that way." "Children are not just forced to read about the alcoholic Aubrey, but with the aim of meticulous retelling of what they read in class. Isn't this a special indoctrination of information into the heads of children: drink incessantly and shoot jackals, and books will be written about you? And isn't the 'jackal' in this story an image of a beast and, worse still, a person who simply does not like someone?" the deputy reflects. He sincerely believes that it is high time to return to Russian classics — to "Mumu" (12+) and "White Bim Black Ear" (12+) — so that through bitter tears children know that besides vodka and drunken stupidity, there is good and evil in the world, compassion will triumph over cruelty, and warmth is more important than a heart covered in fur.

      However, the deputy's speech at the social issues committee elicited a rather sparse reaction from the "responsible men." Thus, the chairman of the relevant committee, Sogomon Arakelyan, said that "everything got mixed up for him." The first deputy head of the regional government, Dmitry Kurdyumov, dryly stated: "Textbooks are purchased in accordance with GOSTs." "Maybe you are reading some one textbook, if so, then you don't need to share this with us. Read. If it is used by some educational organizations, then I think this information should be officially provided," commented the deputy's speech Dmitry Alexandrovich.

      And upon hearing Bikaluk's version of a possible upcoming New Year's surprise for younger students in the form of a "gift copy of the ancient Indian 'book on the art of love' — as a reference book for the applied understanding of minors of the meaning of demographics," Dmitry Kurdyumov advised to "be more careful with formulations." "Perhaps it is worth paying more attention over time to what deputies will say, including in the run-up to the upcoming electoral cycle," the official advised.

      At the same time, Albert Alexandrovich emphasized that his idea is not as excessively progressive and sensational as it seems, but is merely a continuation of a pre-New Year event — the handing over to Kirov's younger students, in anticipation of 2026, of a book by Albert Likhanov with an age limit of 12 and older, supplemented by a photograph of "Grandpa Sasha" and his blessing.

      It should be noted that the control over compliance with the rules for labeling and distributing informational products is carried out by Roskomnadzor. Article 13.21 of the Administrative Offenses Code of the Russian Federation provides for fines for violating the procedure for distributing products containing information harmful to children's health and development, with confiscation of the object of violation: for officials — from 5,000 to 20,000 rubles, for legal entities — from 20,000 to 200,000 rubles.

      And for those private children's institutions, in particular, that operate under the flag of Great Britain, a country whose shells are currently exploding on Russian soil, but which annually receives Kirov's 30-million budget support, even with all the pedagogical passion for "foreign authorship," it would be better to remember that there is Jack London and "White Fang" (6+), Gerald Durrell and his gentle humor in the series of stories "My Family and Other Animals" (12+)... Or hundreds of other Irish and other authors, where the characters do not live on cotton candy but are quite happy with a life that is not measured by the number of bottles consumed daily.

      Mathematical "crime reading"

      By the way, Albert Bikaluk is not new to actively addressing "educational themes," this time triggered by the March report of the head of the Kirov Ministry of Internal Affairs — General Konstantin Selyanin. He stated that over the past year, juvenile crime increased by 61%. And the region has habitually slipped into the Russian statistical rear guard.

      "Just those days, I came across a 'Mathematics Workbook' (6+), the author Grigory Oster writes in the preface: 'The problems are fun, children will be interested in solving them. You can apply two or three in each lesson. And if the teacher tells you to put the book away, don't agree — after all, it is recommended by the Ministry of Education,'" Albert Bikaluk recounts.

      At that moment, as the deputy explained, he was considering how many criminal offenses and administrative violations the characters of the "fun problem" for the second grade committed: "Our friend Petya caught us in the evening, and each of us gave him three hits on the neck. In total, our friend Petya received 108 hits on the neck. How many of us were there?"

      "Let's start with something simpler," reflects Albert Alexandrovich. "36 schoolchildren are walking in the evening without parents and teachers — this is 'administrative.' From the criminal articles, 'causing serious bodily harm' would fit, God forbid, if not resulting in death. And of course, as a group of individuals, and possibly by prior agreement... Now my question to Konstantin Nikandrovich: what percentage increase in juvenile crime can be expected this year if children approach solving such a problem empirically?"

      However, in the collection of "Oster's problems," there are still a good dozen far from philosophical questions, including "girl" ones, the consequences of which will also fall on the "shoulders of the Ministry of Internal Affairs." Parents can already count the articles from the Criminal Code that fit each of the "cases."

      And if the first problem is quite similar to the procedure of "passing the maroon beret," then the last one on "robbery or 'theft'" — depending on the application of violence against the victim.

      "After a half-hour fight, Petya ended up with seven bruises, and his friends had 12 more bruises. How many bruises did Petya and his friends have after the half-hour fight?"

      By the way, Grigory Oster composes problems not only on the topic of "crime reading" but also concerning all aspects of existence and society.

      Problems about education

      "A boy is learning a poem of 40 lines. To memorize each line, he spends two minutes. How many minutes will it take the boy to forget this poem, if it is known that he forgets poems twice as fast as he memorizes them?"

      "A foreign saboteur had a task: to blow up 20 general education schools on a dark night. The saboteur exceeded this task by one-fifth. How many happy children will be able to take a break from general education, if it is known that each blown-up school had 756 students?"

      About sports

      "After a football match between yard teams, residents of a five-story building found that they were missing window panes. On the first floor, they were missing 12 panes, on the second - 15, on the third - 17, on the fourth - 22, and on the fifth - 18. How many panes will the residents of the building have to replace?"

      About a courageous profession

      "A night bomber pilot was given the task of bombing several enemy military targets. The pilot became so engrossed in this work that he exceeded the task by twice, and along with the enemy targets, he bombed five of his own. How many enemy military targets was the night bomber pilot supposed to bomb according to the task?"

      About nutrition

      "Tolya bet with Kolya that he would eat five jars of gutalin but only ate three. How many jars of gutalin could Tolya not finish?"

      About upbringing

      "Raising his failing son, the father wears out two pairs of trousers a