"I can no longer not go": Actress Irina Sheyanova on life after the cross procession

      She walked from Kirov to Velikoretsky along with tens of thousands of pilgrims. About why it is impossible to stay at home, about three "rewritten" tickets, about mud up to the knees, and gratitude instead of requests — in our material.

      — Irina, why did you decide to go at all? After all, this is probably not the most obvious activity for an actress in the midst of the filming season.

      — You know, the first time I entered it, I realized then: I can no longer not go. I asked in advance to have the whole week off, but unfortunately, due to my profession, such an opportunity did not arise — a new project started. The filming days were scheduled in such a way that I was allocated only three days.

      But I could have calmly stayed somewhere at home, at the dacha, learning my lines and not walking anywhere in the mud...

      By the way, there was so much mud this year! I probably haven't seen anything like it in almost 40 years. Because they said it rained for five days in Kirov.

      — So there were doubts after all? Maybe not to go?

      — Naturally, I could have stayed at home. But I can no longer not go. And how to explain this — honestly, I don't know. I have this state: even now, when I start talking about it, a lump comes to my throat.

      And just imagine: I changed my tickets three times because I bought them in advance, when they were first put on sale — three months ahead. I wanted to arrive a day early, to visit your beautiful city on the second, to go to the Trifon Monastery. But all the dates were shifted for me.

      And when I came to get a ticket for the third time, I realized: they give me three days, and the pilgrims are already leaving. They are already at the station in Yaroslavl. And when I saw these people with icons on their chests, I just... I’m talking about it now and I almost start crying again.

      One of my acquaintances later said: "Are you out of your mind? You're not normal?" I replied: "Well, you know me — of course not." But I see these people, and tears just well up in my eyes. And at that moment, I finally understood: I cannot not go.

      — Do you explain this effect in any way?

      — To be honest, I don't know what this effect is. I, roughly speaking, live from one Velikoretsky pilgrimage to another. I ask for a blessing from the priest in advance, and throughout the year, when I approach the icon of St. Nicholas the Wonderworker, I always say: "Nicholas, if it is God's will, let me walk the Velikoretsky cross procession this year." And that's it. After that, I try to accept: whatever happens, happens. By the way, last year I also wasn't allowed to complete the whole pilgrimage — apparently, I can't handle it. I only made it to Velikoretsky and returned. Well, at least that much.

      — How long have you been going?

      — This is only my third year. When I first learned about this pilgrimage, I knew nothing about it. A friend told me. I opened the photos, saw these people, and immediately asked: "Have you gone yourself?" He said: "No." I then said: "Wait, so you know about it, and you've never gone?" And I initially had this feeling inside: "I live, I have legs, I can buy a ticket — why am I not going with these people?"

      — What happens to you during the journey? Does something change in your thoughts, in your heart?

      — You know, if before I used to beg God for something and pointed out exactly what I wanted, this year for some reason I didn't even have that thought inside. I walked — and only thanked. I read the akathist several times, and then either the "Mother of God" 150 times or the Jesus prayer. Some inner joy and uplift appeared. At the moment, there is no unresolved question or anything pressing from within. This year was especially blessed.

      — You are an actress. How do you combine this state of tranquility with what happens on the filming set?

      — On the third, I still had a shift. Costume: high heels, tights, a tight knee-length dress. I stand, looking at my legs in these silly heels — in which you can only sit beautifully — and think: "Here people have gone out, the pilgrimage is already underway..." And I have an absolute feeling: "What am I doing here?" But, you see, you can't say that. I studied for this profession, I love it. If God puts me in this place, then I must serve people — comfort and bring joy. You can't erase this worldly life. I am a worldly person. Since I haven't gone to a monastery...

      By the way, I try to post photos on social media. Especially the contrast: here you are on the filming set — in costume and makeup, and exactly a day later — in a headscarf, with a big stick, looking like who knows what, and covered in mud up to your ears. People write to me: "Ira, what's wrong with you? Are you okay? Is there a tragedy? Did everyone die? Are you begging your husband?" I reply: "Guys, no, everything is fine."

      — By the way, about the mud. How did you cope with it?

      — I don't take rubber boots with me. I wear sports shoes and just socks. I approach a water column or a hose, rinse my legs — and immediately throw away the socks, and go on. When the sun comes out, my legs dry quickly. It's easier for me this way because any extra weight — and I can't move. The backpack is still big, but I unload it as much as possible. In one of the photos, I had one or two kilograms of clay on each leg. And starting Monday, I have to fit back into beautiful fashionable heels. I sit and think: "Lord, what a blessing!"

      — The most banal question, but still: what would you advise those who are just about to go?

      — You can only infect others with your personal example. I travel, people give me rides in their cars, and I start talking — I can't help it. Most listen with interest. So I just recommend: find out for yourself and just take the risk. Although, seeing the photos and understanding the conditions, I realize that not everyone will dare — to swap warm comfortable apartments for a tent, where there is no shower and everything we are used to. So probably only by personal example. Only when a person sincerely gets inspired by something — out of love.

      — Well, we will wait for you next year then!

      — Definitely!