Scratch of the week: It's better to hiss in the shade than to burn in the sun of others' expectations.

      The ascending morning star of astrology, mistress of chaos, ruler of star sarcasm, and professional predictor of your mistakes, Buba the Magnificent, has presented a new horoscope for all zodiac signs. It’s a must-read, or else — zaprap!

      Overall astroweather:

      Planets are stirring like mice under the blanket of fate, and here is what they whispered to us:

      The week begins with the waning Moon in Cancer — tears, jam, memories, bouts of tenderness towards former lovers. Don’t give in!

      August 8 — New Moon in Leo: a great time to growl in the face of fears, reboot dreams, and buy yourself a gift. Preferably without sales — you deserve better.

      Mercury in Virgo keeps huffing like a cat that caught a logarithm. Good for paperwork, meetings, and calculations. But! Don’t forget to check where you sent that message — especially if you wanted to complain about the person you’re writing to.

      Venus in Cancer is drowning everyone in a soup of emotions. You crave love like in a series, and care like your grandma used to. Especially sharply — August 6 and 7. Your tenderness will crawl out like a cat on a curtain. Don’t resist, but choose who to purr for.

      Mars in Leo turns everyone into paladins and dragons. Prepare to defend your interests and attack ideas. Moderately dramatic. Whoever has the fluffiest tail — is right.

      Main aspect of the week:

      The Sun trine Jupiter (August 9) — a day of great opportunities, grand ideas, and risky bets. If you’ve long wanted to start something or make a statement — purr loudly and confidently. The universe will hear you.

      And now, according to signs. Who will get a slap, and who will come out dry from the water.

      The week’s motto: "Better to hiss in the shadows than burn in the sun of others’ expectations."

      Aries

      You are like a laser pointer in fate’s paws — bright but uncontrollable. Don’t scare people with your energy; they’re not used to creatures that fight and cuddle at the same time. On Monday, don’t sign anything — especially if it’s a deal with your conscience.

      Scratch: Chase instincts away, but not with claws.

      Taurus

      You’re confident everything is going according to plan. Too bad that the plan is in Mercury’s retrograde nostalgia. Stop eating your feelings. Better to eat someone else’s cake. A monetary bonus is possible… if you bother to get out of your comfy nest.

      Scratch: Money goes to those who get up and walk — even if it’s to the toilet.

      Gemini

      Oh, duplicitous miracle, stop arguing with your reflection in the mirror. The week will surprise you — you might impress someone. Words will be like feathers: light but leaving a mark. Guard your reputation; it won’t be reborn like your meme style.

      Scratch: Less noise — more rustling.

      Cancer

      Eat a cookie and step away from the drama. You have a retro crab inside you again: craving care — bite someone’s finger. But there’s a chance: mid-week, someone will understand your half-sighs and passive aggression. Don’t miss it!

      Scratch: Silence is gold. But growling is platinum.

      Leo

      You are shining! But be careful: this time the light might come from a burning bridge. Control ambitions. The boss will notice you — and it’s not guaranteed they’ll be pleased. But stars favor those who know how to be a king even in a puddle.

      Scratch: Grandeur is when you don’t meow but watch.

      Virgo

      Do you still believe in order? Honey, have you seen this universe? Your hyper-organized nature causes Jupiter’s nervous tic. Relax, chaos is also a system. Romance may happen on Friday if you allow yourself to make at least one mistake.

      Scratch: Not everything crooked is bad. Sometimes it’s just a tail in the game.

      Libra

      You’re trying to balance everyone, but your scales are broken, and instead of bowls, there are paws and claws. Stop trying to please — especially those who are unworthy of you. On Saturday, you’ll face a choice: stay or leave. Spoiler — the door is open.

      Scratch: Don’t be afraid to be sharp — even if you’re a lollipop.

      Scorpio

      Are you ready to "accidentally" sting someone again? Passion boils, but remember: not everyone can tolerate the intensity of your gaze. And yes, no, it’s not flirting — it’s a threat. A good time for old intrigues and new passwords.

      Scratch: Your feelings are weapons. But sometimes it’s better to hide the stinger in your sleeve.

      Sagittarius

      As always, you’re rushing into battle… just don’t forget to put your pants on. Be careful with promises — they have long tails and a bad temper this week. But if you take risks — you’ll win. Especially if it’s a dispute with yourself.

      Scratch: Don’t shoot at everything that moves. Especially if it’s your reputation.

      Capricorn

      It’s as if you built this universe yourself — but why are you so bored in it? Time to rest. Or at least pretend. Stars advise slowing down, or fate might fire you from the post of general of your life.

      Scratch: Even a stone sometimes needs a warm blanket.

      Aquarius

      Genius, rebel, mystery. The week is suitable to go insane publicly — but beautifully. Inspiration is rushing, but your surroundings can’t keep up with you. Call those who understood you before it became mainstream.

      Scratch: The brain is your engine. The heart is fuel. Be careful with sparks.

      Pisces

      Do you want to dissolve? Please, but not in someone else’s problems. The week will test your intuition: it will lead you into the light, or into a closet with childhood fears. There’s a chance to hear the truth — if you’re not afraid.

      Scratch: Water can reflect. Look who's swimming towards you.